It can be a joy to run into someone you haven’t seen in a long time. It can also be nerve-wracking. We tend to overthink situations like this, worrying about the impression that we will leave when so much time has elapsed from the last time we saw this person.
We may particularly fear what the other person thinks of our appearance. After all, this is something we can’t change. If things aren’t going well in our professional or personal lives, we can gloss over that. But we can’t change how we look in the moment.
Of course, my answer is that this fear is misplaced. In fact, I believe this fear is just as worthless as most of the social anxieties we carry. I say that now. The first time I had to face an old friend who hadn’t seen me in a while? Yeah, I was nervous as hell. I was going bald and I had shaved my head. Undoubtedly, I looked incredibly different from the curly haired dude I was in high school.
But as soon as we saw each other we smiled and hugged. The conversation took over. While I was nervous in anticipation, I wasn’t nervous at all once the exchange started. In fact, once we started talking, I felt suddenly confident and assured.
I think part of the reason I felt this way is because of the positive feedback loop I have talked about before on this site and in my downloadable guide for dealing with hair loss. After you shave your head, you have nothing to hide. You have basically said to the world, “yes, I’m going bald, and you know what? I’m ok with it.” You may not be thinking it, but on a subconscious level this is the message looping through your brain. It is liberating. It is empowering.
At the end of the conversation, my friend told me I looked good. It wasn’t some thin compliment made out of pity. It was genuine.
There are still many guys who don’t believe this is possible. They think that having no hair relegates you to some kind of social leper colony. If that really is the case, you need to find some new people to hang out with. I’ll bet you, though, that your lack of hair does not make you an outcast. If anything does, it’s your attitude and confidence level.
Working on a big update to the ebook that I haven’t been able to work on as I was in transit for most of the past month. Finally motionless for a bit and hope to have it done in the next several weeks. Current owners of the book and those that buy it before the update will get the new content for free. As always, feel free to email me about whatever using the form on the contact page.
Photo credit: flickr user strandloper
If you enjoyed this post, check out my How to Deal with Hair Loss ebook. It details my personal story of beating male pattern baldness, explains all the options for dealing with hair loss, and offers concrete tips and strategies for getting over it and building confidence.